I am going to be very critical, so “brace yourself” (means “prepare for something difficult”).
“Over the last 25 years, floods, droughts, and other weather-related events have caused more than 90 percent of major weather-related disasters.”
This sentence needs a little help. You are saying that “weather-related events” have caused more than 90% of weather-related disasters………..shouldn’t it be 100%? Weather-related disasters are ALWAYS caused by weather-related events. And since you are citing a source (UNICEF) for this information, and it’s your first sentence, it made me question the entire paragraph.
You use “over the last” correctly and well.
“The frequency and intensity” – this is a good phrase to use here.
“We, humans, are responsible….” Grammatically, you don’t need the commas around “humans”. But if you use them, you are emphasizing the fact that HUMANS are responsible. So, I think you use them well.
“furious mother nature” - I like the adjective “furious” here
“We, humans, are responsible for all these environmental catastrophes and it seems furious mother nature is taking revenge on us.” This sentence is crucial to your argument, but I don’t think it’s expressing what you want to say. The phrase “and it seems” needs to change. Try adding the word “may”:
“We, humans, are responsible for all these environmental catastrophes and it may seem that a furious mother nature is taking revenge on us. Well, she would have the fullest right. […if that were the case….but it’s not…..and I’m about to tell you why it’s not the case….]” NOTE: I added an indefinite article in front of “furious” but you don’t need it. Don’t put the words inside the brackets [ ] in the article. They are implied by using the verb tense “she would have”.
“On another side of the story, she has not harmed us.”
“On another side of the story” - I don’t like this phrase. I’ve spent 5 minutes trying to leave it in your article, but no. It’s got to go. You can say,
“But she has not harmed us.”
“But the truth is, she has not harmed us.”
“The reality, however, is that she has not harmed us.”
“She just wants to keep the earth, and for sure humans, safe and sound, and not only being a compassionate mother for nature and waters, but she is also truly just like our mother.”
I’m changing this sentence too. Don’t hate me.
“She just wants to keep the earth safe and sound by not only being a compassionate mother for nature and waters, but also truly a mother for humans.”
“So according to what I said earlier, I wanted to portray a poor girl reaching out for a helping hand and delineate her innocence, our fault, and eventually how "we" are killing her.”
I love this sentence. I love how your unusual grammatical construction forces me to re-read the sentence and put emphasis on the word “her”….”HER innocence”…..”OUR fault…” This single sentence is a small literary masterpiece. I’m not even sure you realize how good it is, since English isn’t your native language. Anyway, well done well done well done and this sentence should encourage you immensely!!!!
Because in the end, "we must help ourselves by overcoming our resistance to assistance*.”
Make sure you add a period at the end of the sentence in the quotes.
“But after all, there is hope for big changes.”
I don’t like how you use “in the end” and “but after all” so closely together. It seems redundant somehow. Kind of anticlimactic. You can leave it if you want, but I would just say:
“There is hope for big changes.”
“Start small and motivate the young generation to at least think about it for a little while. Stop waiting for other people and start big moves yourselves and be the person who changes things.”
I’m just making sure….you just said “start small” but then say “start BIG moves yourselves….” Are we supposed to start small, or big?
One last thing about the final paragraph. I feel like you want these ideas to be able to lift off the page as a complete thought. Can you consider changing the word “it” ? Maybe like this:
There is hope for big changes. Start small and motivate the young generation to at least think about the responsibility humans have. Stop waiting for other people and start small moves yourselves, and be the person who changes things.
