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Paola1087
8 Aug 2019
- Spanish (Mexico)
English (US)
Question about English (US)
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livisabel
8 Aug 2019
- English (US)
Big picture issues: I don't find your argument very convincing here. In your opening paragraph you ask whether it's feasible to establish a limit on earnings, but you never make any arguments about whether or is or isn't feasible. Also the proponents' argument is creeping into the paragraph about the detractors' arguments, which kind of muddles things.
Detail critiques:
"gap between the salaries" which salaries? be more specific
Remuneration only has one M
Don't capitalize another and it
Since you just established a proposal (maximum wage) your next sentence has to be extra clear about who you're talking about, or we will think you meant supporters of a maximum wage. try "supporters of unlimited wages" or something like that
I suggest "because not everybody has such talents" instead of "inasmuch"
"secondly, not only are they talented" not "do they are"
"reach a certain age"
"they start to have trouble"
Also that sentence about football players could be a lot more specific. What do they have trouble with?
I can't quite track what you're trying to argue in your conclusion so I can't effectively reword it. What requirements? Who is taking them into consideration? Your last sentence seems to be arguing "if we want to make a lot of money, we have to build our skills or choose a profitable career" but that doesn't say anything about whether or not we should have a maximum wage, or if it right for some people to earn many times more than others. Your conclusion needs to be about the argument you just made.
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Paola1087
9 Aug 2019
- Spanish (Mexico)
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